those crazy customers
Customer: [Approaching the Nook counter] Do you actually work for Barnes & Noble or are you just Nook?
Me: Ma'am, Nook belongs to Barnes & Noble.
Customer: [Raises one eyebrow as if I'm lying]
Me: How can I help you?
Customer: I'm looking for a book.
Me: Do you know the author or title of the book?
Customer: It's written by - [gives a name]
Me: I'm not familiar with him, but we can go look him up in the computer.
Customer: [Cocks her hip and places her hand on her waist and smacks her tongue in a very condescending manner] Well, he HAS a TV show!
Me: Is it Game of Thrones? That's the only television show I currently watch.
Me: I guess not. Follow me, we'll look him up.
Customer: [Calling on the phone] What is your return policy?
Me: 14 days with a receipt
Customer: What if I've opened it?
Me: What do you mean?
Customer: What if I've opened the book?
Me: [trying very hard not to laugh out loud]
Me: Sir, how would we know unless you've damaged the book?
Customer: I need to order a book, can you do that for me?
Me: Sure. What's the title of the book?
Customer: You're not going to know that.
Me: (Stunned pause) Yeah (I say long and drawn out) that's why I'm asking.
[Just a quick note about my "Those Crazy Customers" posts. I do not make these up, these are actual customers that I encounter on a daily basis. I've had several followers ask me if these conversations are real. They are indeed.]
Customer: I'm looking for a particular book.
Me: Okay, I can help. What's the title of the book?
Customer: I don't know.
Me: Do you know the author?
Customer: No. But the cover of the book is yellow and has an image on it.
Customer: You don't know what book I'm talking about?
Me: [Answering the phone]
Customer: What is your phone number there?
Me: I'm here.
Customer: Okay, good. What is the phone number there?
Me: Didn't you just call it?
Customer: [A long drawn out . . .] Y e a h
Me: [Finally giving the customer the store's phone number and wondering what the world is coming to]
A customers calls our store:
Customer: I'm looking for the book The *mummbled something or another*
Me: The what?
Customer: [Sounds like] The Geeber! The Geeber!
Me: Do you mean "The Keeper?"
Customer: No! THE GEEBER! [customer raises voice]
Me: Could you spell that for me, please?
Me: [Rolling my eyes] Yeah, I got that much.
Customer: Oh . . . G-E-I-B-E-R.
Me: [Looking the title up in our computer system wondering what the hell kind of book this is]. I'm sorry, I don't find anything by that title. Who is the author?
Customer: "Lewis Lawry"
Me: [Finally realizing what she means] Do you mean "The Giver" by Lois Lowry?
Customer: [Short silence followed by]: Oh, yeah, that book!
Me Wanting to Say: You realize you're a G-E-I-B-E-R, right? [Then hang up the phone].